Lovers
by Chibi Fenrir
Summary: It is only when he struggles to make her happy that he comes to realize that he only made her sad.
1. Her

Disclaimer: All rights belong to Gainax.

Lovers

Chapter One

Her

"Hah…"

Fighting the Angels constantly dipped his entire being into a puddle of anguish but this…

"Hah…"

This was something that shook him to the very core, something that made dealing with those unearthly monsters seem easy in comparison. His fear alone gave birth to the beads of sweat dissipating in the LCL but the jade dots that spied him from the dark made chills go down his spine.

Those four gleaming orbs weren't something as placid as simple dots but instead eyes, eyes that he knew belonged to an Evangelion. Unit 02 watched him from above like a hungry spider, the canopy of tree tops it balanced itself on cracking under its weight. It spread out, lowering the burden its massive size put on the trees with careful positioning.

Asuka found him.

The sound of its shoulder compartment opening echoed through the forest, the knife that slid out something that meant she wasn't playing games anymore. Under the moonlight, the crimson luster she was so proud of appeared dull but those sets of emerald shined as she forced her Evangelion to take the weapon.

Unit 02 was taking point so Unit 00 couldn't be far behind. That meant Rei was somewhere in that darkness, lurking to get in position to fire on him the moment she got the order. Immediately, he scanned the area and something caught his eye. At first, he could only see the gray glimmer of a rifle but right behind it was the prone figure of the one-eyed Evangelion.

"Stand down Shinji! I know you hear me!!" Misato yelled at him again, "This is your last chance! Don't make us have to do this to you!"

This pressure was unlike anything he ever felt and it multiplied on account of them getting serious. Even though it was just Asuka and Ayanami, they were both dangerous in their own right so trying to fend both of them off at the same time wasn't reckless.

It was suicide.

Unlike the desperate major, they didn't even bother to contact him and the reason was obvious. He was engaging in a capital offense not to mention he was now a traitor, the knife Unit 01 held so tight representing his treason.

The Angel he protected continued to dig, the dirt it flung and the trees it uprooted forming a mounting pile behind him. The monster he defended was what they attempted to concentrate on even though he was trying to get in their way but it all changed the moment he drew his progressive knife.

"Hah…"

He was exhausted, physically and mentally wore out but he couldn't let them harm the Angel. On the event that they did, any damage would simply be transferred to his girlfriend and he would rather die than let that happen.

Unit 01 braced itself, the foot it slid back in the dirt only to make its stance sturdier. He was ready for the oncoming attack even though he could never prepare his heart for what was sure to happen. The humming of their vibrating knives drowned out the rumbling of the digging behind him but he couldn't tune out the heavy sound of his heart beating in his chest.

Any second now, Misato was going to order them to attack and that solitary thought reminded him of something that made his thumping heart skip a beat. The Angel cut through his cable when it first started digging so… Shinji steeled himself before looking to the side of the entry plug.

He had exactly four minutes and twenty-one seconds of power left.

"Take…" In her pause, he could hear someone behind her mentioning that the Angel already breached the first barrier and was breaking through the second, "Take him down!!"

Using the reflexes honed by experience, Shinji made Unit 01 dash backwards and Unit 02 crashed into the place it once stood. The crimson Evangelion practically asked him for the fight he wanted as it held up its own progressive knife.

Suddenly, a volley of fire erupted from the left. Every tree in Rei's line of fire was completely and utterly annihilated by rounds bigger than cars. The forest itself shielded him but she still could have hit him if she tried.

It was a warning shot, a sign of how she felt about him even now. The fact that Unit 02 didn't cut him down yet a small indication that Asuka wasn't as angry as he thought as he quickly tried to think of his next move. Even though he was ready to fight till his time ran out, they still gave him just one more chance to stop.

"Shinji..." Her thin eyebrows were slightly furrowed as she stared at him through the com-link, agitation something that was easy to see on her face, "Stand down or I will not miss the next shot."

"I can't…" Shinji barely got out, talking was hard to do when he was this tired, "You know… that more than anyone Rei…"

The com-link promptly closed and he could see Unit 00 stand with rifle in hand. His view of the Evangelion had no obstructions now; he could clearly see it as she pointed the weapon at him with intent to disable.

Like that was the cue, Unit 02 reversed the grip on its knife and slashed at him. The strike was barely blocked, the sparks that came from the collision just the first of many to come. He avoided her next attack and shifted to the side so Rei wouldn't have a shot at him.

The First Child was a step ahead of him. She had already changed her position by then. With a fleeting moment of hesitation, she aimed and shot Unit 01. The round passed right through the back of its knee and Asuka took advantage of the situation by literally and figuratively disarming him.

Unit 01 crumbled to the ground like an autumn leaf, the pain its pilot was in nothing compared to what they were going to do to the Angel he protected. With thoughts of such filling his head, he tried to force the machine to get back up but they weren't having it.

The sound of another magazine being loaded into the rifle reached his ears as Unit 00 approached with the weapon trained on him and Unit 02 buried its knee in the spine of the Evangelion beneath it.

She was going to pull out the entry plug.

"Don't…" He begged, Unit 01 reaching behind its back to stop her with its remaining arm but it was snatched away and pinned to the ground by the progressive knife she stuck through its hand.

He was apprehended.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this though…

He was supposed to protect her like he said he would, like he promised he would but he was reduced to not even being able to do that. He didn't feel anything aside from heartache as Unit 01 shook its arm to free itself, the knife cutting through its hand before he tried once again to get up in spite of the Evangelion on its back.

Rei shot him again. The round that ripped through its elbow enough to send it back to the ground, making a splash in the blood that spilled out of the wounds. The hot brass of the casing flew up into the night air and she shot him again for his own sake. She knew he was all too aware that it was over; every attempt he made to get back up would just mean more pain.

He continued to struggle, his effort an exercise in vain as he realized the only reason Asuka just didn't forcefully eject him yet was merely because he saved her life not more than a few weeks ago… Like Rei, she attempted to spare him from further agony by subduing him but she didn't need to anymore. Unit 01 went limp as the reserve power finally ran out.

"A retrieval crew will come for you after we are done with the Angel."

He could hear the major from the loudspeaker on Unit 02. She was angry, her stern voice proof this was just the beginning of the trouble he was in but more than anyone else he was angry at himself.

Somewhere under this night sky, his girlfriend was going to be hurt again.

The disabled Evangelion rose from the ground like the undead, its injuries not at all healed as it managed to stand. It couldn't roar because it picked up its severed arm the only way it could, the marks on the limb thanks to the rows of teeth in its mouth. Instead, it merely peered at the opposition with eyes white enough to penetrate the darkness that surrounded it.

"She… won't…"

It was too hard to complete his declaration, but his intent was obvious as Unit 01 violently chewed through its own forearm in order to get to the progressive knife it still grasped. It bit into the handle of the knife as the remains of its arm hit the forest floor.

Just a few more seconds and he would kill them for her. Just a few more seconds was all he needed to cut them into so many pieces that his knife would break before he was finished.

Rei and Asuka were ready for him, their weapons at the ready as they all but ignored the Angel they were fighting over. Perhaps acting under new orders, they exchanged weapons. Unit 00 tossed the rifle towards Unit 02 and brandished two progressive knives as Rei calmly took point. The single red eye of the Evangelion watched as Unit 01 slowly advanced, staggering thanks to the injuries she previously dealt.

They were probably trying a new strategy Misato came up with on the spot but he didn't care. A few more seconds… Just a few more seconds was all he thought about and was all he needed to make sure his girlfriend would never be hurt again.

With thoughts tantamount to obsession being the only thing driving him, Unit 01 stood up and faced the death that was sure to come in the form of dual progressive knives in the hands of someone who loved him.

"Shinji… Please..."

A desperate plea was met with an attack as Unit 01 hurled itself in her direction. Sparks again flew through the air like they were destined to fly and friends fought with intent to kill.

0

"What do you think about sad stories?"

Shinji looked up from his lunch and turned towards the girl that sat beside him. She smiled, her glasses catching the light from the windows as she tilted her head in anticipation of his answer.

"Tragedies?" He cast a stray glance at the small pile of books in front of her, "I… I don't really like them."

"It's a unique genre." His classmate sat the book she was reading down on the table, "I prefer happy stories but I wouldn't be able to call myself an aspiring author if I couldn't appreciate other stories just as much."

"Oh, I didn't know you wanted to be a writer." The pilot slid his chair back and stood, his shadow covering the girl under his care, "I was wondering why you liked the library so much."

"Shinji…" She gazed up at him with surprise crossing her features, "I thought you knew how much I liked to-"

"No, I know that." He cut in quickly, raising his hands up in denial before looking around, "It's just that no one usually bothers to come here. I didn't even know we had a library until I followed you here."

This was the second time he set foot into this part of the school but this was the type of place one could never get used to. The tall windows in the room didn't have any sort of blinds or dressings, the lack of such the reason why the room seemed so serene. Sunlight graced the room like a blessing, making no distinction between the shadows it made or the dusty books that received its radiance.

Though it was a magnificent sight the first time around, the layer of dust was only one of the things that served as a reminder that it was a lonely place that was rarely if ever visited nowadays. Books that were missing from the large bookcases laid in various places, some broken desks were piled into a corner, and the long solitary table she sat at were missing over half its chairs. Disarray was too light a word for such a place.

In the process of looking around, he caught the look on her face and she spoke the moment they made eye contact, "I'm not troubling you by coming here am I?"

"N-Not at all," His observation was halted, "I was just wondering that's all."

Relieved, she turned back towards the books in front of her, "Oh…"

The brief spark of conversation was over, both of them too awkward to initiate it again and it wasn't worth the effort to try. Small talk reigned over them no matter where they were but it couldn't get any worse when they were alone with each other. There were only so many times they could chat about nothing of importance and if they weren't talking about the weather or the last book she read then it was the subject that bothered him the most.

"I'm sorry you have to look after me."

It was an off hand comment but he couldn't let it go unwarranted.

"Mayumi, it's not like that." Though she never voiced the fact, he could always tell that she regretted getting him caught up in her own health issues. Because he sat next to her, he was the one selected to keep up with her even though Hikari was the one who usually did it.

"Being around a lot of people makes me nervous so I can't stay in the classroom or go to the cafeteria. I can read in the library and we are the only people that come here." She adjusted her glasses, pushing them back up before she looked up at him, "If I wasn't sick then I wouldn't be a burden to anyone…"

"Really, I don't mind." His eyes snapped towards the entrance as someone pushed open the doors, "Miss Horaki?" He guessed right as the class representative smoothly slipped into the library and walked towards them.

"I don't see how both of you can still be so formal with me." She shot the pilot a sour look as she came to a stop behind Mayumi, "Especially you Shinji, you've been here longer so you don't have an excuse."

"Um," Already guilty, he tried to come up with a decent excuse, "I-It's because you're the class representative so-"

"No," Hikari shook her head as she held up a hand, "It was just my job to make you comfortable here but I'm one of your friends now."

He nodded, what she was saying wasn't unreasonable, "You're here for Mayumi?"

"Actually, I'm here to- Ah!" Her brown eyes widened as she realized something obvious, "That means you already think of Mayumi as one of your good friends?" She said, excitement creeping into her voice as her eyes grew even larger.

The pilot and the classmate he watched over exchanged looks before he turned back to the girl in front of him, "Yeah…" He whispered, the bubbly look in Hikari's eyes starting to make him feel uneasy.

"That's great!" Hikari nearly screamed, "Shinji, I need a really big favor."

He didn't like the sound of it already.

"I normally walk Mayumi home myself but I'm going to be leaving early today since I'm going to see relatives tomorrow." With the situation explained, it wasn't difficult to guess what she had to ask of him, "I was thinking I'll have to work something out with Rei at first but-"

"Ayanami?" Shinji and Mayumi said in unison, already wondering what the azure haired pilot had to do with anything.

"She lives in the same complex you do Mayumi, I thought you two came together since you both arrived so early."

"That's surprising…" The girl remarked as Shinji finally put together the puzzle that was the favor Hikari needed to ask of him, "I saw her this morning but I didn't even stop to think about it."

"Anyway," Hikari smiled, she could already see herself preparing for the trip, "Do you think you can walk Mayumi home this evening?"

"I…" A hint of red touched Mayumi's cheeks as she abruptly got up and answered before he could, "I can walk home by myself. I feel well enough today to manage on my own."

"Mayumi, you say that now but what if your anemia starts-"

"I'll do it." Shinji decided before Hikari could make the newest addition to their class see why she always needed to be accompanied by someone, "It kind of is my job to make sure she is alright."

He wasn't in a position to refuse seeing that he was supposed to be the one who walked her home every day in the first place. Being issued a task by the teacher made him feel more like a normal student even if responsibility was something he was weary of keeping.

"Thanks Shinji!" Hikari grabbed his hand and shook it up and down, beaming as she showed him how grateful she was to be relieved of her duty today, "Just remember everything I told you and you'll be fine."

"No p-problem…" It was his turn for his face to color as he eased his hand out of the handshake, "You don't have to thank me for something I should have been doing anyway."

With that and a quick wave, the class representative made her exit. The echoing of her retreating footsteps was proof that the library was eerily quiet but, in the back of his mind, Shinji recalled that they were supposed to be like this.

Compared to the training at NERV and the controlled chaos of the classroom, this place was actually a haven. Mayumi was a pretty reserved person so it wasn't surprising she would like a place that had little to no activity.

"It might not look like it but Ayanami is kind." Shinji thought about his fellow pilot as he looked around the library, "She's just really… Um, I don't know how to put it. I guess she's just really serious so she doesn't have time for things that aren't important."

"She seemed…" Mayumi trailed off as she vision wavered. The feeling that assaulted her was one she knew better than most. The blood that coursed through her head felt like it had spikes as the onset of her attack was realized.

A splitting headache…

It felt like her stomach was eating itself, acid dissolving not only her stomach but the organs surrounding it. It hurt so much she couldn't help but double over like someone took a sledgehammer to her abdominal.

Waves of nausea…

She felt woozy to the point where she slumped forward and fell, blacking out as she approached the floor. He was a step too late to even break her fall much less catch her, something that would haunt him when she hit the floor hard enough for a small cloud of dust to rise.

"Mayumi are you alright!?" He panicked, rushing to her aid as he yelled her name, "Mayumi!!"

She was far from alright seeing that she wasn't waking up.

0

Another room he never made an attempt to get familiar with was the infirmary but, now that he sat inside, it was a moot point as he looked out the window. The bright rays of light that once shined through the library windows were gone now, the sun reclaiming all of its light as it touched the horizon.

Shinji looked away from the window and at the reason he was here. Mayumi stared back at him with remorse clearly in the depths of her brown eyes. Without her glasses, she seemed even more sensitive but thanks it was thanks to that vulnerability that he came to notice how pretty she really was.

Her long locks of inky black hair stood in a violet contrast to her pale skin. She was almost sickly pale, her health surely playing a role in her complexion but the combination suited her well. There was a small dot of black under the corner of her mouth but the mole did little to take away from her beauty, instead adding to it in his opinion.

It was her eyes that always got him though. The chestnut colored eyes she so often hid behind her glasses always seemed to look at him with a level of respect she reserved for no one else, something that tore at him every time she dared apologize.

"I'm sorry…"

Shinji shook his head again, finally understanding why he annoyed people so much with his habit of saying the same, "It's not your fault Mayumi." He looked at her as she laid on the only bed in the room, "We'll leave when you feel good enough to walk okay?"

"We can leave as soon as I find my- Oh…"

He held up her glasses and placed them in her lap, "It's okay, I can wait until-"

"Aren't you tired of this yet?" She asked, not holding back as she took her glasses and put them on, "I haven't even been here for a whole week yet and I-"

"Mayumi, believe me." Shinji interrupted her rambling with a sigh, "I don't mind but it's important that you lay down until you feel better. I might be a pilot but I don't have anything to do… Well, unless an Angel attacks or something but even if that happened you still got to get your rest or you'll probably have to go to the hospital."

The frail girl openly disagreed with him as she swung her legs to the side of the bed and hopped off. It wasn't in protest of what he suggested but because he was willing to wait that she forced herself. Shinji was kind, too kind to have his time being taken up by someone who could manage on her own with just a little more effort than normal people needed.

He got up as she walked passed him and followed her out of the room and down the halls. It wasn't long before they were outside, the late afternoon sky the only thing to greet them as they walked away from the now unoccupied school. The streets of were void of people, only cars passing by every now and then as they slowly walked down the sidewalk.

"Are you…" She coughed, raising her hand to her face to hide her blush, "Are you walking this close to me on purpose?"

It was a sad attempt to make sure he would be able to catch her in case she fell or worse but he figured being that close was liable to be a reason she tripped. With that in mind, he motioned to make room but she closed the gap between them.

"It's alright." Mayumi smiled as they approached the apartments, the heavy sound of construction something that was always around every time he visited this part of the city, "You don't have to worry about catching me. I really feel better now."

"How…?" He appeared dazed as he looked at her shoulder, the dust that rested there proof that he failed her before, "How did you-"

She spun around, staring at her caretaker as she walked backwards, "I had a feeling you were just that kind of person." The small smile became a large one, "Is it that why so many people depend on you?"

The thought of anyone relying on him was almost laughable. Shinji shook his head as they made their way up the steps towards the third floor, "I don't know about that but I try to do what I can because that's the best I can do."

"I didn't think a pilot of one of those things could be so modest."

"Ha," He couldn't help but grin at that, "Asuka just likes piloting so she likes telling stories about what happened even if she exaggerates here and there. We aren't really bloodthirsty or anything."

Mayumi stopped in front of a door and drew another sigh from the pilot as she merely pushed it open and walked in. He watched from the doorway as she walked inside her apartment and beckoned him to come in, an offer he was ready to refuse thanks to an incident that occurred on the floor above.

With a deep breath, he forced away thoughts of a naked Rei and entered with the honest intent of staying for a few minutes before leaving. Her room just as barren as the one that belonged to his fellow pilot, the major exception being that it was clean.

The clang of metal against metal was a constant reminder of the construction outside but seeing the floor uncluttered with used bandages and trash was enough to make him glad. The bed was made, the large teddy bear that sat near the pillow just one of the few things that personalized her apartment.

"Shinji, do you want some tea?"

"Sure, but I can't stay long." He looked over his shoulder at the door, "Who knows what Asuka is telling Misato about this."

"Do you think Ayanami would want some too?" She asked on her way into the kitchen, "I should probably go ask her."

"I don't know about that Mayumi…" The pilot followed her, "I was trying to tell you earlier but she is kind of difficult to deal with if you don't know how to talk to her."

"Hmm, can you ask her then?" His classmate posed the question like she intended for him to do it in the first place as she started to boil water.

He headed towards the door with misgivings that were set aside. Rei wasn't a people person but it never hurt to try and she probably wouldn't mind coming down for a cup considering she wasn't busy or already gone.

Before he knew it, he was standing in front of her apartment and he hoped a friendly knock would be the only thing she needed to answer the door. It wasn't a surprise when her door creaked open after he tapped his knuckles on it but he was more than shocked when he realized that it was because she pulled the doorknob.

"A-Ayanami?"

"Ikari," The pilot she greeted turned away from her, his face burning as she stood before him dressed only in her blouse and, hopefully, panties hidden by her shirttail.

"M-Mayumi wanted to know if…" He gulped as her ruby eyes stared at him intently, "She wanted to know if you wanted to have some tea with us."

"That is acceptable." Rei turned around and headed towards the bed to put back on the clothes she just took off, "Yamagishi lives on the floor beneath me correct?"

"She does…" Shinji said, mystified that she even knew who Mayumi was not to mention the fact that she wanted to come, "I didn't think you would know her Ayanami, she didn't even know you lived here until Miss Horaki told her."

"You are involved with Yamagishi." She whispered before going back inside and slipping on the rest of her uniform, "The order to protect you has not been revoked so I watch the people you are involved with."

"I don't think Misato meant for you to take it like that Ayanami…"

Red eyes landed on him as neared the door, "An order is an order."

He left it at that and tea was all that was on the menu when they arrived at Mayumi's apartment. Two paper cups of steaming tea were warmly handed to her standing guests, both of them refusing the offer to sit on the bed next to her.

Talking was nonexistent. The only thing really happening being the slow, uneventful consumption of the bitter drink and even that seemed like it dragged on for hours.

"Why did you not decline the teacher's request?" Rei asked directly, the most unlikely person starting conversation with a question that she held since he accepted. Everyone was aware that they were pilots so even being asked to do something so time consuming was inappropriate to say the least.

"I didn't have a reason to say no."

She blinked, she had plenty of reasons why his course of action was ill advised, "We do not have time for anything that could interfere with our-"

"Ayanami," Shinji threw the empty cup at the trash can in the kitchen and missed, "Mayumi isn't a distraction or anything. She's my friend, I don't mind making sure she's okay just like I try to make sure you or no one else gets hurt when an Angel comes."

What he said meant that he thought just as highly of her as he did everyone else but that wouldn't stop her from stating the obvious, "She is still liability you do not need to concern yourself with."

"You can't talk about people like that Ayanami!" Shinji pointed at the girl sitting on the bed, "Especially when she's right there!"

"It's alright." Mayumi injected, unfazed as she smiled at both of them, "I can tell that you two are really good friends."

Not many things caught Rei off guard but such a statement was reason for her undivided attention to land on the girl who said it. She said nothing, the questioning look in her eyes all she needed to ask Mayumi to properly explain how she came to that conclusion.

"You're worried about him being around people you don't know and… Hmm," Their classmate set her empty cup on the floor as she turned towards Shinji, "You're the type that can only get angry at people you really care about aren't you?"

Her character analysis was so accurate that both of the pilots were left speechless, the argument that was started vanishing like it never existed in the first place. Both of them stared at her with varying degrees of shock and she took it as a sign that she really touched a part of their character that even they didn't know about.

Shinji and Rei turned towards each other, exposed feelings grating against each other as they made eye contact. Sapphire met ruby as they locked eyes, "I'm… I'm sorry for yelling at you Ayanami."

"No, I was… out of line." This uncomfortable feeling was not one she was familiar with, "I should leave."

She did just that, taking the paper cup with her as she briskly headed towards the door and left without neither a goodbye nor a thank you. He didn't even have the chance to stop her. Shinji sighed as he walked towards the trash can and picked up his cup to put it inside.

"You were right in saying she was kind but," Mayumi met him there, tossing her cup into the trash before she accompanied him to the door, "I think she is fond of you Shinji."

She was undeniably good at being able to see things like that in people and he had more than enough proof to believe what she said but that was impossible. He knew Rei was a nice person for sure but saying she liked him was pretty far out there. A passing glance at the glasses Mayumi wore reminded him of the person that Rei put above all others.

"I doubt it Mayumi but thanks for the tea." He forced a smile, the thought of his father always making his day worse than it was before, "I have to get back to the apartment before dinner time or Misato will get-"

"Is something wrong…?"

He stopped in his tracks, a shaky look over his shoulder enough for one of his eyes to be transfixed on the girl behind him. Her perception was extremely sensitive, her sixth sense in overdrive as she took off her glasses and stared back at him. She knew something was wrong without even needing to see his strained smile but her question was just a formality at best.

His problems weren't something that could be shared with her.

"Nope, I just have to hurry back before Asuka and Misato get hungry." Shinji turned around and walked outside, "Thank you letting me visit. I'll come early tomorrow."

"No, thank you for coming and…" She put her glasses back on, the lonely books she kept under her bed were about to have some company, "Goodbye Shinji."

0

"One day…" Kensuke started, valiantly holding his fist in the air as he stood next to his desk, "I'll work the nightshift!"

"Who would hire a nerd like you?" Asuka proudly walked passed him with her head held high and lunch in hand, "Best you can do is sell some upskirt pictures to perverts."

"You're just mad no one wants to take pictures of you."

"Shut up! I don't want anyone to take any pictures of me you idiot!" She stomped on the ground, even more agitated thanks to remembering the one time when Aida did try to sell pictures of her, "Hikari leaves for a day and you stooges start thinking you own the school."

"Don't even bring me into it Red." Touji reclined in his seat with nothing to do, his lunch something he ate long ago to make up for a missed breakfast, "I ain't said nothing to ya all day. I don't wanna have ta get started on ya when- Hey! Kirishima! Be a friend and let me get one of them rice balls."

"Hmm?" The charming girl looked up from her lunch with a sly smile on her face, "What would I get in return Suzahara?"

He narrowed his eyes at her as he considered giving something up to quiet his stomach but asking someone like her was a mistake in the first place. Touji sadly shook his head. It was always something wrong with the pretty ones.

"Well?"

"My jacket…" The jock said without thinking as his friend pulled out his video camera to watch the showdown.

"Don't do it Kirishima!" Asuka smiled as she found one of her enemies in a difficult position, "You can get something better than that stinking jacket!"

"Ya better shut up Red! I told ya I ain't even messed with ya so don't get me started when I'm hungry." Touji said slowly, stalling to think of a better item to trade as he looked at Mana.

"Hmm," She carefully tossed a ball of rice up and down, "Promise to do a few things for me and you can have two."

The challenge she issued was one he had to overcome just because he was never one to back down. He was hungry, he wanted those rice balls, and he was hungry but humiliation was something his pride wouldn't permit. With pleading eyes, he turned towards his best friend with the saddest look he could muster, "Hey Kensuke… I need ya to-"

"No," Kensuke held up a hand as he zoomed in with his camera, "I'm not going to slave so you can get something to eat."

In the middle of his plight a sparkle appeared in Touji's eye, his trump card something that appeared like an omen as a pilot entered the classroom. In pursuit of lunch, he was sure his other best friend wouldn't mind taking one for the team, "Shinji… My good friend Shinji…"

The sleepy pilot yawned as he reached under his desk to get his lunch, "What is it Touji?"

"Can ya do me a big favor?"

"Sure, I'll do it." He said with ease, the same answer for the same question he was asked yesterday even though he had no idea what was being asked of him.

Mana took a good look at her favorite pilot before tossing the food behind her. Touji successfully caught both, one breaking open the moment it landed in his hands but that wasn't a major concern. For now, he could only eat and watch what was going to happen with a heavy heart.

"You can have them for free…" The brown haired girl said without turning around in her seat, sparkling blue eyes still on the boy who unknowingly shook off her attempts to be more than just friends, "Shinji, are you al-"

"I would like to speak with you Ikari." Rei appeared behind him, ignoring the looks everyone gave her as she bent over and got his lunch for him, "Here."

"Um, thanks…" He took store bought lunch she handed him, "I'm about to go back to the infirmary though, I might have to walk Mayumi home early today now that I think about it."

"I will accompany you."

"Ayanami, wait…" Shinji tried to stop her before she left the classroom but she continued walking nonetheless, "What about class?" He asked as he weaved through desks with his lunch in hand.

"It is of no concern." She stopped in the doorway and responded quietly like she always did, her eyes closed as she contemplated what she wanted to say, "What I have to ask you is of more importance."

"What is it?" He asked as he caught up with her and left the classroom, "If it's about yesterday I-"

"Yazamaki was correct." Rei smoothly cut him off as they walked towards the infirmary, "I was under the assumption that I cared for you because of my orders but…" She stopped, pausing to think of the right word to use, "I do worry about you."

Shinji rubbed the back of his neck as he started to blush but for her to up and say it like that made things feel more awkward than she probably realized, "Thanks Ayanami…"

"It is because of that I have a request." The infirmary was right there in front of them but, unlike yesterday, this was something she had to say before they stepped in, "Ikari, it would be in your best interest to leave her in the care of Horaki."

"It's not a problem or anything Ayanami. I'm not a doctor but it's just anemia and all I have to do is be around when she's not feeling well."

She expected as much but trying when the outcome was obvious was a small but subtle sign of how strongly she felt about him, "Another request…"

He waited for her to speak as he entered the room and saw Mayumi peacefully sitting on the bed and looking out the window, the nurse doing the same as she sat in the same seat he did yesterday. It felt like he stepped into a painting, the image disturbed as both of the occupants of infirmary turned to face him.

Mayumi waved before getting up and walked towards them as the nurse continued her silent gazing on the world outside. Her face lit up with a smile, her hair lightly swaying on account of the bounce in her step. She was happy for no reason, a bright part of her personality that Shinji envied but liked to the point that just seeing her made him feel warm inside, "You got back really fast Shinji."

What Rei was going to ask of him died in the presence of Mayumi, the one thing she wanted to request something she couldn't do now that her neighbor had all of his attention.

"Yeah, I thought you'd be hungry so I brought my lunch." He held up the shrink wrapped lunch as he neared her, "Ayanami came with me so we can-"

"Rei?" Mayumi adjusted her glasses before looking around, "Is she waiting outside?"

"Huh? I thought she was…." He trailed off as he noticed she was gone, "I guess she changed her mind."

"Are you sure she didn't need to go back to the classroom to get something?" She walked passed him into the hallway and didn't see anyone.

"Now that I think about it, she didn't say anything about leaving with us but we weren't finished talking yet."

"Mind if I ask what you were talking about?" Mayumi laced her hands behind her back as they walked to the shoe lockers.

"Not at all, it's kind of about you anyway." He was forthcoming, having nothing to hide from her, "She said you were right about what you said yesterday and wanted me to let someone else handle this."

"I really appreciate it Shinji but maybe you should."

"Everyone has been bothering me about it. Misato calls it an affair, Touji claims I'm using you to get out of class, Asuka just thinks I'm being a pervert and even Ayanami…" Shinji sighed as the approached the shoe lockers, "I think I can manage though."

She opened a locker and pulled out her sneakers, "I always thought you hated the couple jokes more than anything."

"I don't mind them, they used to say the same thing about me and Asuka before you got here but she didn't find it funny at all."

"I think it's funny and I have to admit the thought of having a husband isn't a bad one."

Unlike before, their conversations had life and they actually talked about things that interested them as they made their way to her apartment. For once, getting to know someone was a process that felt natural but he couldn't help but feel that was simply because Mayumi was a normal person.

She had no responsibilities aside from school and the only thing that really separated her from the other students was the fact that she wasn't as healthy as everyone else. She was just normal in the sense that she was just a student and nothing else, someone who blended in with the rest of the class except for the select few he was included in.

Even though that was true, everyone had their unique exceptions.

"I got a love letter today." Mayumi said out of nowhere with a cheerful smile, her long black hair swishing behind her as they crossed the street, "I found it this morning but didn't open it yet."

"Why?" He wondered out loud. She was asking him about his cell phone just a few minutes ago.

"I looked at it…" His classmate reached into her briefcase and pulled it out. The letter was plain except for the big heart sticker on the front. Even though Asuka frequently complained about receiving them so much, this was the first time he ever saw one, "Then I realized that I didn't really know anyone except for you and Hikari. I'm just now starting to put together the names and faces of most of our classmates."

"Are you going to open it?" Shinji asked as they neared the apartment, "Asuka just throws away the letters without looking at them."

Mayumi laughed, "I can't do something like that Shinji. If someone was brave enough to put their feelings inside this then I can at least look at it."

It didn't matter if she didn't love or even knew the person the letter came from but she knew that the feeling itself was key. Whatever drove someone to write something like this was something she couldn't deny and wouldn't. The fact that she received it meant that she had to read it lest those important feelings locked inside would lay dormant until she did.

"It's nice to get one of these." She brought the letter to her chest and held it there as they looked up the flight of stairs they had to go up to get to her apartment, "I have to accept it and respond to his or even her feelings."

Shinji almost tripped as she openly acknowledged that affection didn't only come from one direction but it only served to show that Mayumi was easily the most considerate person he ever met in his life.

"Mayumi," He stopped, a question he shouldn't ask stirring in his heart as he looked up the stairs at the girl walking passed him, "What if I gave you one… A love letter?"

Was he an exception to her? A special case she would treat like no other? Would his letter be set aside among the pile of confessions and the like she was sure to get sooner or later? It wasn't that he was blindly in love. It was just a random question that slipped out the blank space in his mind.

"You're my best friend Shinji," She never lost her smile as she looked down at him, "Would you want to put our friendship in jeopardy with a relationship like that?"

Shocking realizations were disregarded in quest of an answer to his original question. He clutched the railing as he took another step, "I'm not saying I l-like you like that Mayumi but I was just curious."

A breeze touched her figure, her hair and clothes caught wind in the gentle wind as she held up a hand to stop her long locks from clouding her vision, "Shinji, I like you so I can tell you the truth." She never looked away from the pilot that stood a few steps away, "I'm sick."

"I don't understand… Everyone knows you're sick, I mean it's the reason you had permission to-

"No… No," She said sweetly upon noticing the look on his face, closing the distance between them as she walked back down the steps towards him, "I'm really… sick. I prefer to keep it a secret but I know I can depend on you."

Really sick? What else could she…

Terminally ill…

That was all he thought about and the words bounced around in his head until the meaning of it exploded in his mind. Questions needed to be asked. Lots of them needed to be asked. Stupid ones and important ones all jumbled together with each other but he couldn't say anything.

Wasted time…

Someone who was going to die soon didn't bother with a dusty library no one cared about and someone who was that sick didn't care about being kind to people who sent you love letters but that wasn't necessarily true. Something that was though was the fact that no one should voluntarily come to this city let alone someone like her.

His knees felt weak and his legs trembled like his bones were rattling. The grip he had on the railing wasn't to help him get up the steps anymore. If he let go then he would surely fall, "Tokyo-3…" He looked up at her with strained eyes, the tight knot of feelings in his throat making it difficult to ask a key question, "Why did you come here?"

The most formable city in the world was that way merely because it was the most dangerous. Out of all the places in the world, this was where the Angels attacked and that was why he looked at her with an expression she couldn't read.

"I want to be here." For the first time, light conversation turned dark but she told him what he wanted to know, "I feel better here than anywhere else I've been."

"Mayumi…" Shinji straightened his back and took in a steady deep breath as he listened to her honest reason for living in Toyko-3. He failed to calm himself, the feeling in the pit of his stomach one that would remain for a long time to come, "I just… I just don't know what to say."

The question that was the spark was indeed one that he should have kept to himself. Now he couldn't just look at her and see someone who normal but instead someone who stood just as close if not closer to death than he did.

An offer of tea would be refused so she didn't bother him by asking and he didn't try to ask anymore questions. He slowly backed down the steps before turning around, "I have to go..."

Mayumi watched him all but run away from her. She wasn't hurt by his reaction but, even if he took it better than her father, it was always the same thing when she told someone. Tomorrow he probably wouldn't come to walk with her and he definitely wouldn't act the same way around her even if he did.

The value of keeping her secret wasn't solely for her own benefit. When people knew, they either made it an effort to enforce their apathy or rained pity on her but she was never one to hold that kind of information from people who deserved to know.

She could wave off the occasional person with a white lie but Shinji was not the occasional person and he was not just a mere friend. He wasn't the first person who ever tried to make her feel accepted but he was certainly the first to make her truly feel that way.

That's why she couldn't help but think she made a grave mistake.

0

Mayumi walked into the school without anyone accompanying her, the same way it was when she first started coming. The first thing that greeted her was the overcast sky but it was the person who didn't greet her that she was thinking about.

Her prediction wasn't off.

She waited for him in front of her apartment and even managed to catch a glimpse of Rei on her way to school but it was on account of her patience that she was late. Everyone was already in class and she wasn't so haphazard to use her condition as an excuse but she wasn't angry at neither the punishment she would eventually face nor Shinji.

It was just the way things were. While she did come to regret telling him, she couldn't fault him for being that way after finding out the truth. Even if he did walk with her they probably wouldn't have even said anything to each other.

Just like that, she resigned herself to having lost another friend as she opened her shoe locker.

Something fell out and hit her in the leg, abruptly ending its short journey as it fell on the floor. It was a folded note, a piece of notebook paper folded in half so it could be slipped into the locker. Her worries were put on hold as she bent over and picked it up.

"It can't be another one…" She thought out loud before opening it, "Huh?"

Mayumi was rarely confused but the blank note was enough to leave her completely baffled. She didn't know if it was a joke or not but it made no sense at all to her.

"Hey," Someone said from behind, scaring her enough to make her jump, "Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you but, um, that's from me."

"Shinji?" She was relieved to see him but she was even more confused than before, "What does it mean?"

"About that…" He scratched the side of his face as he looked to the side, "I wanted to write you a letter but I couldn't come up with anything to say…"

She laughed as she slipped off her shoes and put them in the locker. Everything was starting to come together now. Shinji waited for her while she was waiting on him so both of them ended up late even though he was probably here long before class started, "You didn't have to wait on me."

"I should have walked here with you but I wanted to put the note in your locker so..." He trailed off, sighing as it occurred to him that he just could have slipped it inside later in the day, "I'm sorry Mayumi, I just haven't been thinking straight since yesterday."

She of all people understood the impact of what she told him so just seeing him made her feel better, "Did you get the reaction you wanted Shinji?"

Getting to class was low on their list of priorities as she engaged him with a question that he should have expected. Mayumi cherished her ability to see though people and she was skilled to the point where he feared for anyone who had ulterior motives around her.

Shinji swung his head from side to side. It wasn't like he was expecting anything big but she was acting the same way she always did and he didn't feel any different if you didn't count how slow he felt for the greater part of last night and this morning.

"I'm happy." Mayumi graced him with a smile in spite of things that happened, "I'm happy that you gave me this."

"I didn't write anything though." He pointed out as she neared him, "It's really just a sheet of paper…"

"I told you yesterday Shinji." She pushed her glasses back to the bridge of her nose as fondly held the blank love letter close, "It doesn't matter how or what they come with, feelings are something that should always be considered."

"You might call it a blank sheet of paper but you don't really feel that way do you? You'll feel hurt if I just balled it up and threw it away wouldn't you?" His classmate held up the folded paper in front of him, "To me, this is irreplaceable… Your first love letter belongs to me even if we aren't really on those terms with each other."

"Mayumi…"

His first and last love letter, a declaration of how he felt about her was not only void of words but the true intent it was supposed to have. It was something he stressed over to the point that he didn't even know why he did it and the end result wasn't even worth her precious time.

She gently extended her slim arm in his direction and offered the blank piece of paper back to him, "You know better than anyone that I can't accept this though Shinji."

Their fingers came into contact as she returned it to him but neither made mention of it as he took it back and looked at it. His eyes were set on the paper he slid into her locker, a silly attempt to make him feel closer to her than the person that did the same before him.

"I'm going to give Hiroto his letter back after lunch-"

"It doesn't matter if you're sick." Shinji threw his blank note away, the piece of paper balled up before being tossed over his shoulder as he faced the person he couldn't stop thinking about, "If someone likes you now then it doesn't matter what happens later."

"No," She immediately countered as she eyed the ball of paper that fell on the ground, "It matters Shinji. Everything matters."

"Why?" He needed to know more than he could ask, a sad endeavor before he even started to press her, "Why does it matter if you're sick or not?"

"On the event I loved someone, wouldn't it be terribly selfish of me to leave him hurt because I wouldn't be there?" In spite of her frail health, Mayumi held onto her convictions with an iron grip and her maturity played a role in her wisdom, "I know we can all die at any time for any reason but wouldn't it be wrong to form a relationship when you know death isn't that far away?"

He wanted to say doctors could be wrong or that she couldn't know when she was going to die but her perception was something he would never doubt. What he could do was answer her questions to the best of his ability.

"I don't know how it feels to be you but…" The boy in front of her held onto an even stronger conviction, his mind clearing for the first time since she shared her secret with him, "I think it's selfish to think like that."

He knew it was just an honest effort to keep people around her from being hurt but she was too thoughtful, considerate to the point that she never stopped to think that someone could and would want to be with her regardless of the illness that would eventually strike her down.

Indirectly, she was saying that no one would love a person that stood next to death and that was something he wouldn't agree with. It was an opinion he would always reject not only for her sake but also his own.

"I like you Mayumi."

The feelings the discarded sheet of paper tried to convey were voiced and he didn't hold back. Last night, he thought about everything from how he was going to act around her to how he would try and get her to eat more during lunch but all of it was lost to him.

Ultimately, her reaction didn't matter and he didn't care if she didn't feel the same way about him. He had to make it clear how he felt to both her and himself and he set out to do so. He approached her and she shyly backed away. Her whole body felt like it was blushing but she couldn't shake the feeling that made her turn away from his confident gaze.

"It doesn't matter…" He repeated, a new mantra gained as he stopped directly in front of her, "It doesn't matter if you're sick or not. You are still you no matter what and I like you Mayumi."

He dismissed her fears without even knowing them and she smiled as she met his deep blue eyes with her friendly brown, "I like you too Shinji but there is a line between being friends and... lovers. Do you really want to cross that line with someone like me?"

"What would make you happy?"

"I…" She didn't expect a question like that, "I'll be happy if you are happy."

He lowered his head, a small blush touching his face as he spoke, "Just being around you makes me happy Mayumi and I don't know how to be more than just friends so… I just want to stay close to you as long as I can."

Mayumi was more than flattered, her smile something that grew in size as she made no attempt to hide her blush, "I'll like that…"

There were no tears of joy or kisses to commemorate their new found affections for each other. It was a relationship purely on an emotional basis, Mayumi being the first person he ever met that he could ever really connect to but that didn't mean it was one void of contact.

She touched him, her soft hand grabbing his and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Let's go to class okay?"

Mayumi reserved a special place in his heart, a good portion of his thoughts donated to solely to her. She was more than just an important person to him now.

She was his girlfriend.

Continued…

Author's note: This is an edited Nightshift chapter to tell the truth. Since it was long enough, I thought I'd share it with my friends on FFN. Still, I might try to make an extra scene or two in the next chapter.

CF


	2. Him

Disclaimer: All rights reserved by Gainax.

Lovers

Chapter Two

Him

"Where is Ikari?"

"I told you five minutes ago that I don't know." Asuka's eyebrow started to twitch as she looked up at the only person that could annoy her this much aside from the person she as asking about, "Why don't you go look for him instead of asking me Wondergirl?"

"Sohryu," Rei narrowed her eyes at the redhead, "You are lying."

"You better watch what you say First." Asuka started to get angry, "I don't care if you call me a liar but I'm tired talking about that pervert. Didn't you come to the apartment yesterday? Why didn't you talk to him then if it was oh so important?"

"The major told me he was resting." She responded as a passing cloud caught the light of the afternoon sun, "I am asking where he is now."

They stared at each other, their body language alone telling Hikari that she had to stop them from making a scene. The freckled girl rushed between them with her arms raised as people started to approach with the intent of seeing a fight, "Please calm down you two… I'm sure Shinji is still in the school somewhere." She lowered her arms as she looked from the school gates to the school itself, "He's probably still in the library with- Wait! There he is."

Hikari pointed at the boy walking out of the school and both Rei and Asuka turned to look.

All eyes landed on Shinji as he finally left the school and stepped outside. The glares of his fellow pilots burned holes in his chest as he looked at them, the reason unknown until he remembered they all had a synch test this afternoon. Turning away from them, he focused on the door behind him where Mayumi stood.

Their line of sight shifted as the object of their attention changed but Mayumi kept her composure as she was quietly watched. She happily left the school and walked passed Shinji, her smile something she would never lose in his presence, "Let's go."

She reached out and took hold of his wrist, a gentle tug all she needed to guide him. He followed even though their destination was no longer the same, "Mayumi, I have-"

"…to accompany us to our scheduled appointment at NERV." Rei said as she stepped away from Asuka and Hikari in order to move in front of Mayumi. His girlfriend was halted as the blue haired girl wasted no time preventing her from leaving the grounds. Like a guard, Rei stood before the school gates like she was protecting the border, "Ikari can not take you to your apartment today."

"Ayanami," Shinji addressed her as he moved from behind his girlfriend, "It's alright. I can still do it, you and Asuka can just go together. I'll get there a little late but-"

"Unacceptable…" The First Child whispered as she looked directly at Mayumi, "Being late is not acceptable. The Class Representative is here to escort her home so we can leave…" She paused, the word she wanted to use a recent addition to her vocabulary, "together."

"Yeah," Hikari added as she walked in their direction, "I can walk you home today Mayumi." The freckled girl smiled, any indication that she was waiting on them for a good while gone as she all but beamed at her newest classmate, "Shinji was doing such good a job that I wish I could leave you two alone. It would be such a cute couple…"

Asuka looked at the starry-eyed Hikari and sighed, "That pervert would really like that especially with the way she fawns over him but I don't care. I'm leaving now."

With that, the self proclaimed number one pilot took her leave and left the others behind but Shinji wasn't so fast to follow or even move away from where he was standing, "Really, you can go Miss Horaki… I was going to take Mayumi home and go to straight to NERV after that."

"Are you sure it's okay? I really don't mind and it's-"

"It is a dereliction of duty…"

Rei stared at Mayumi, crimson eyes looking at the person that kept him preoccupied. The girl that fell under her gaze did little more than adjust her glasses as she looked back at her normally quiet classmate. While Rei did prove to be the enigma people believed she was, that wasn't the case this time around.

As a matter of fact, it was painfully obvious how she felt.

"Why don't you come with us Ayanami?" Mayumi smiled as she offered the invitation in place of Shinji.

"Yeah, it's just a synch test." Shinji nodded in agreement, "If we hurry we might not even be late."

Rei wanted to be alone with him but if this was the best she could do then she would just have to accept it. She nodded, following the pair as they walked away but she couldn't deny that she was disappointed.

0

Mayumi happily led the way as she walked in front of the pilots, "So that's what kind of person Misato is?"

Rei nodded as she continued to converse with her classmate, "Yes, the major is… unique."

"I didn't know you knew that much about her Ayanami…" Shinji was amazed, the thought that she knew his guardian almost as well as he did one that pleasantly surprised him, "Did she try to make you live with her before I got here or something?"

"No," She answered his question right away as they crossed another street, "I prefer to live by myself."

"Isn't that kind of lonely…?"

"Not really," Mayumi responded before the pilot, "It's something about living alone that makes you more conscious of yourself. I like to think that it is because I lived alone that I really know myself because other people can't impose on me."

"Impose on you?" He asked another question as the apartments came into sight, "What do you mean by that?"

"It gave me a lot of time to find out who I really am. When you spend a lot of time alone you tend to think about a lot of things in detail." She slowed down just enough to fall behind and get in step with her boyfriend, "There are a lot of things you can learn with someone else though…"

Ever so slightly, her hand made contact with his and he broke out into a blush unlike any other as he thought of the things they could do together. Although a good number of those things were enough to cause a nosebleed, plenty of them were nothing of the sort.

After all, he was content with just being with her.

"My…" Rei came to a stop in front of them, "My request…"

She was uncomfortably aware of how close Mayumi was to Shinji even though she still had her back to them. It was normally prudent to be aware of one's surroundings but there was something about knowing that her neighbor was close to him that bothered her unlike anything else.

"Shinji…" She said it with no small degree of difficultly, "Can you call me by my first name?"

When no immediate reply came, she felt petty and vain. It was a desired she harbored for days, a small wish to be just as accepted as the other people in his life but a name meant nothing. Being called by a given name didn't place one higher in the hierarchy of importance.

Being on a first name basis would change nothing.

"O-Of course Rei!" The pilot shook off the veil of shock and drew the attention of the girl in front of him, "I always wanted to ask you the same thing but it just never seemed like the right time to bring it up…"

For something that had little to no importance, hearing him say her name made her happy. She was glad she asked, elated that he willingly became just that much closer to her. Still, she downplayed her reaction like she always did but…

"I… I am happy."

She could say that much, she could tell him that much.

He rubbed the back of his head as he found himself looking at the sidewalk, "I am-"

The sound of their cell phones ringing in unison quelled any further attempt at conversation but it wasn't the oncoming attack that made his voice die in his throat.

Mayumi fell into him, her consciousness lost as she started to fall. Shinji dropped his cell phone to grab her and successfully caught her just in time, "Mayumi…" He ignored the ringing phone as he gently shook his girlfriend, "Mayumi! It's an attack you have to wake up!"

"Leave her."

Rei shut her cell phone as Shinji eyed her with no small amount of surprise.

"L-Leave her!?" He snapped his attention back to his unconscious girlfriend, "We can't do that Ayanami!! I have to get her to her ro- No, I have to take her to a shelter at least!"

"We don't have the time." Rei calmly countered, the fact that he didn't use her first name oddly tugging at her feelings, "There is nothing we can-"

"Go…" Carefully, he lifted the girl and looked up towards the steps that lead to her apartment, "Go without me Ayanami."

"No."

Her lips turned down into a slight frown. Even though she was unconscious, Mayumi was still having an effect on him but she already made her decision. Though she knew he didn't want to hear it she was ready to remind him of his duty as a pilot but the steps he took in her direction changed that course of action.

Still…

"You can't carry her to NERV."

He kept walking even though the girl he passed spoke the truth. It wasn't that Mayumi was heavy, she was actually lighter than he remembered but NERV was more than a mile away. He had to do something.

"Shinji…" A hushed voice broke his bravado as he looked down at the girl in his arms, "Where am… Oh?"

"You have to get to a shelter."

"Mayumi!! Are you okay?"

"We don't have time to talk with her… Shinji."

The sirens blared. The wailing alarm mixed with the voices of her classmates and her dreary mind couldn't yet separate them as her boyfriend let her down. She settled her feet on the ground and leaned on him until she could focus her thoughts enough to realize what was happening.

"Shinji…" Mayumi forced a smile as she weakly pushed herself off him and tried to walk, "Rei…" She turned to face the girl who stared back at her, "Rei is right…"

She blinked her smile disappearing for only a split second as her vision was suddenly lost. Afraid that she blacked out again, the girl nervously reached up a hand that touched the rim of her glasses.

"Mayumi, do you think you can get to a shelter?" She heard the question even though she couldn't see anything, "I don't care if I have to carry you… as long as I know you're alright."

That concern…

Mayumi lowered her hand, her usual smile intact as she tilted her head, "I'm fine." She lied with a fake smile, "Please hurry up and go! If I run for a little while I can make it to a shelter before they close."

She couldn't let him know she was blind or…

"M-Mayumi…" Shinji felt something in his heart break, "Mayumi, I'm over here…"

He wouldn't leave.

"O-Oh… Haha…"

His heart sunk as she tried to play it off but it was only now he could see the empty eyes behind her glasses. She couldn't see, she was trying to make him leave even though she wouldn't even be able to take cover much less get to the shelter.

What was he supposed to do?

What could he do?

The sirens continued to cry as they bathed the city in shades of color but he forgot about the Angel because only one person matter.

He grabbed her wrist, his eyes becoming damp as he pulled her towards him.

It was alright to be selfish sometimes right? Just this once, this was all he wanted. He didn't want her to do sad things like that. He didn't want her to be hurt. He didn't want her to be alone.

"I didn't want you to see me like this…."

"I told you it doesn't matter if you're sick!!" He cried, tears no doubt coming to his eyes as he embraced her, "Just don't tell me to leave you alone... Please don't do that again."

"No," A fond smile touched her features as she took comfort in his warmth, "This is…" She was crying too, the growing wetness in his shirt all the proof he needed, "This is different."

Rei had enough.

Even though she couldn't deny that she somehow felt hurt, she couldn't allow anything to interfere with her true purpose. She sprinted pass the pair and only spared her fellow pilot a parting glance but that was enough to see something that gave her reason to halt.

The soles of her shoes scrapped against the concrete as she came to a full stop. "You are bleeding…" She said with wide eyes as their cell phones started to ring for a second time.

"Huh?" Shinji raised his head and turned to his fellow pilot, "I'm not…"

He froze.

"Move." Rei took immediate action as she marched back to the pair and forcefully separated them. Mayumi bit her lip even harder to keep from crying out as blood seeped from under her eyelids, "There is a first aid kit in my apartment. Get it."

Red eyes never left the girl she pried out of his arms, "Now."

No matter what, he didn't want to look down. He didn't want to see the giant spot of red in the middle of his shirt and he definitely didn't want to see what caused it so he listened to the girl and ascended the steps.

"Rei…"

The pilot lowered the girl to the ground and laid her there.

"Call me Ayanami."

"I'm sorry…" Mayumi smiled in spite of herself as her classmate examined her for other injuries, "If he wasn't so kind I wouldn't have- Ow!" She raised a hand up to stop the girl from opening one of her eyes but Rei knocked the offending hand away as she sought to see exactly what happened and if she was able to administer aid.

"You have no reason to apologize to me." The azure haired girl stared down at her as she examined the injury, "Cut…?" She was puzzled, the gash between her eyes just now something she took into account as she forced the other eyelid up.

How…

She stared at what was obviously a wound that could only be dealt with a knife and couldn't help but be confused by what she saw. Evidence could not contradict itself could it?

"Rei," Mayumi reached out and finally found what she hoped was the pilot's hand and grasped it, "I know how you feel about him. I knew before… Ah…"

It hurt.

Blood soaked the back of her uniform and dyed the sidewalk in her color. Rei was completely confused and the idealistic thought of administering aid proved to be a mistake. She could not help her, especially when she didn't even know what was wrong.

"I love him…" "A modest smile found a home on her face, "I never felt this way about anyone before." Tears joined blood and sorrow infringed on happiness as a girl who loved life stood just that much closer to death, "Rei… I'm sorry I love him so much."

The pilot rose and stood at her full height.

She looked down at the girl understanding what she meant and acknowledging it all the same but an apology for failing to act on her own desire was not one she could accept. She was fond of Shinji and, thus, she disliked the person who was closer to him than she was but mere affections had no role to play in this.

Mayumi was dying.

The best she could do was bandage her wounds and hope that Sohryu could defeat the Angel alone. Still, red eyes shined with a glint of sympathy for the girl that liked the same person she did.

"Call me Ayanami…"

0

Bandages…

If it wasn't for the long locks of black hair sticking out from under the strips of white then he could easily mistake her for Rei. Tenderly, he rubbed the back of her hand as she rested on the bed and it took every ounce of his will to keep from crying again.

"The major is on her way."

"Rei," Shinji looked over his shoulder at her as she entered the apartment, "What did you tell her?"

"The truth."

"Oh…" He looked back down at his unconscious girlfriend, "You could have told her that I kept you here or something. It's my fault we missed the attack."

"I do not lie Shinji and do not blame yourself for my actions." She moved closer to the bed their classmate rested on, "Either way, the major is angry."

"I know…" He sighed, "I'm sorry Rei but I can't even think straight right now. Every time something happens to her, I just go blank. Even now, I don't know what to do."

"We are in trouble."

It was an understatement.

Trouble was knocking over something expensive or getting a few bad grades. What he did was certainly something else. No one would praise him for this. No one would ever forgive him for endangering so many lives for the sake of one girl especially when he wasn't even sure if she'd survive or not.

"Unforgivable." The word stuck with him like a dart in his spine, "I did something unforgivable."

No one would look at him the same way again. He could already imagine the looks of distain being readied at NERV. He could feel their eyes on his back from miles away, all of them wondering why he abandoned them and the world for a girl that was going to die anyway.

Misato and Asuka would never forgive him. His father would most certainly send him to a cell. He dragged Rei into this mess with him and Mayumi was probably dying right in front of him.

In a way, it felt like his world was ending.

"I will be with you." Rei came to his side and looked down at her ailing neighbor.

She meant that more than she ever meant anything in her entire life. Though her role in the commander's agenda still took priority, Shinji and his welfare were definitely just as important. These were powerful, moving thoughts and her conviction to such a belief was the fuel she needed to see them through.

"Thank you…" She didn't know how much he needed someone to understand, "Thank you…"

Her heart was warmed, feelings she kept wrapped up inside her chest came to the forefront as she started to feel hot all over. This was a feeling only he invoked, the emotion she reserved for no one other than him. She knew she liked his company and she cared for him more than anyone else but this sensation was above that.

"You are welcome." She responded in kind, a thought of him hugging her crossing her mind as she looked at him but he wasn't looking at her.

His sight was glued to the bed where Mayumi rested oblivious to the penalties they could face for opting to assist her instead of rushing to NERV like they were supposed to. Rei studied the girl with an impartial expression, crimson eyes running over her still form as Shinji continued to hold her hand.

Mayumi was not a bad person.

She knew now that the intense jealousy she felt was only to validate the feelings that Shinji never could. It took this long and it took an incident like this to make her see the truth she intentionally obscured to protect her own confused feelings.

In any case, this was not the time to dwell on matters of the heart.

"I'm sorry Mayumi…" He stood, rising to his full height after he placed her hand back at her side and smiled more for her sake than anything else but she couldn't see him. Briefly, he touched her head and stroked her hair just to let her know he was there, "I called 119 but they're not able to send anyone out just yet… I'm going to be gone for a while but I swear I'll-"

To his surprise, she sat up and tore the stained bandages off her face. Strips of soiled white met the floor and she wasn't at all subtle about pulling off her shirt to tear off the ones that remained around her torso.

Shinji and Rei were equally stunned as the girl blinked a few times before she opened her eyes and stared at them. She could most certainly see and the jagged cut Rei claimed to see across her eyes was gone. With some trepidation, he lowered his sight to her naked back and nothing was there either.

Something…

"I'm alright…" Mayumi gave him a weak smile as she looked him in the eye, "Really."

Something was very wrong with this.

"You were injured. Why happened to your injuries?" Rei was almost painfully blunt but he was thankful that she posed the question he needed to ask.

"This…" Mayumi started as she searched for her glasses and found them in his out stretched hand, "This is what I was talking about Shinji." She put her shirt back on along with her glasses, "It never used to get this bad but it used to happen a lot more often until I moved here."

"Your injuries," Rei didn't like to repeat herself, "What happened to them?"

"I don't know…" She was just glad they were gone, "It just never got this bad before. It used to just be a scratch or two or something that no one would notice."

He sunk to his knees, looking down at his blood stained shirt as he realized the extent of what she said, "No way…"

She was like him in more ways than one. Her attacks were so similar to the feedback he got from Unit 01 that he couldn't help but make the comparison. Still, the Evangelion never actually left him with the injuries it incurred.

"I'm sorry," Mayumi met him on the floor, dragging the bed sheets down with her as she hugged her boyfriend, "I was… scared to tell you everything."

She wasn't afraid of dying but that didn't mean she was fearless. Not knowing was scary so what was happening to her body terrified her. Even now she was so scared that she didn't know what to do and her foresight gave her no indication of how to approach the subject.

He wrapped his arms around her, "You're shaking…"

Rei turned around, the feeling she was encroaching on something private coming to her as she motioned to leave the apartment. Her cell phone rung as she walked and she stopped at the door to answer it, "Understood," She hung up, her back facing the pair as she spoke, "Shinji, the major is outside."

"I'll go talk to her first then…" He looked at his girlfriend one last time before he released his hold on her and stood up, "Mayumi I swear on my life I'll come back so…"

Don't die.

He couldn't say that so he just stopped talking and stared at the girl who looked back up at him. She looked just as vulnerable as she did when she was in the infirmary, she was just as sick as she always was but, at the same time, she looked more precious than she ever did before.

Shinji let his sight linger on her just long enough to keep the image in his mind before he turned on his heel and left the apartment. No matter what anyone had to say or did, he would come back. Even if Asuka cursed him until he became a demon. Even if his father deemed one of the cells in the GeoFront his new home… He didn't care because this was the first time he had ever been so sure about anything in his entire life and, just like that he, was gone, his conviction lost to neither his girlfriend nor his fellow pilot as she moved to follow him.

0

Shinji ran as fast as he could and up went up the steps three at a time as he all but flew up the stairs. He pushed open the unlocked door and rushed into the apartment like he was chasing someone, "Mayumi!!"

"Huh…?" Someone called out of the darkness as he marched up to the bed, "Shinji is that you? I'm in the bathroom."

Though this was the perfect time to explain the ills of leaving her door unlocked, but the example he made by running into her room was lost to him as he walked over to the bathroom, "Mayumi… I… We…"

He ran all the way over here but he didn't know what to say and a naked Mayumi opening the door didn't help him in that regard. Her hair was still wet and she wasn't at all embarrassed about toweling off in front of her boyfriend, "Catch your breath first alright?"

"Angel… you…" His lungs did burn and his legs were shaking but he would run for days for her sake. He placed his hands on his knees as he doubled over, sweat dripping off his forehead as he took deep breaths, "We… have…"

"Calm down." She rubbed his back before he straightened back up and looked her in the eye.

"Mayumi…" He was tired but the grave look in her eyes unnerved her, "The Angel… Asuka stabbed the Angel in the back after she slashed it across the face…"

"Oh…"

It was a subdued reaction, one he expected but the look on her face effectively killed any thought of having to convince her. She accepted what he hoped was just a coincidence. The disapproving looks he got and the stern words he received were things he knew were coming the moment he showed up at NERV. In fact, it wasn't as bad as he thought it was going to be until the debriefing.

Ritsuko dissected the battle starting from the moment Unit 02 was forced to sortie alone all the way to the surprising retreat of the Angel. Though he felt bad that he let everyone down, the fact that the doctor took extra time to mention the injuries it sustained only served to open the door to misery unlike he ever experienced in his life.

"Mayumi," He paused before reaching in his pocket to pull out his scratched cell phone. He looked at the display on the front and was relieved to find it didn't take that long for him to get here, "We have to go. Just put on some clothes and we can come back for anything you want."

"Shinji…"

"We have to leave before Misato finds out I'm gone."

"We can't run away with each other." She smiled at her boyfriend as she strolled over to the bed and picked up the nightgown she left there, "I can't run away from this… I told you that this is the only place I can live. If my father didn't take me on that business trip with him I probably would have died years ago."

"I don't know what to do anymore Mayumi…"

It was one thing to be sick but whatever kind of connection she had with the Angel had to be severed. How was he supposed to go about doing that? Was it even possible? Should he have told his father about it?

No…

He couldn't tell anyone and he hoped Rei didn't either. On the event that they found out his girlfriend was an Angel or at least part of one there was no telling what they would do to her.

"That's okay…" She wasn't smiling anymore as she slipped into the gown, "At least I know what's wrong with me now."

"It's not okay Mayumi! I'm not going to let anyone hurt you and if…" He swallowed hard as he acknowledged what he was about to say, "If that Angel is a part of you then-"

"Don't…" Mayumi turned away from him, "Don't say something that sad."

He ran away from his friends to come here and was close to declaring he would fight them for her sake. It was as endearing but she would never want or even ask him to do something like that on her behalf.

Years seemingly passed in seconds and lifetimes in minutes as silence descended on them. There were so many things he wanted to say but he felt bogged down knowing that he could make no promises. Protecting an Angel when he couldn't even take care of his girlfriend? He sounded ridiculous.

"I'm sorry but I mean it." It was the truth but he didn't feel any better about it than she did, "I just hate that I can't do anything for you Mayumi… The least I can do is stop that Angel from being hurt if it ever comes back."

"It's…" She blessed him with a smile, "It's definitely going to come back but you did a lot of things for me Shinji. If you say something like that it makes me feel bad since I never did anything for you."

"You never really had to do anything." He walked towards the bed and looked down at his girlfriend, "Being around you was always enough for me to be happy…"

"Will you listen to me for a while?" She waited for him to nod before patting the spot beside her. He took his seat on the bed and she rested her head on his shoulder, "I stopped needing my glasses since I came to the city but I still wear them since my father bought them for me."

His eyes left her only for a moment to look at the glasses she left on her nightstand, "O-Okay?"

"I spent so much time in the hospital that I almost had to repeat a grade and one of the nurses gave me my first kiss by mistake."

It wasn't hard to do the math, "So you're older than me?"

Mayumi nodded, her long hair shuffling against his shoulder as she tilted her head up and down. She lifted her head from its resting place and faced her boyfriend, "Do you understand why I'm telling you all of this though?"

"I do…" He laid back on her bed and knew he was smiling the moment his back met the mattress, "I understand."

Mayumi didn't have to tell him that she loved him just like he didn't need to tell her the same thing. She was important to him before today the same way she knew he was irreplaceable now. The value of knowing that was all it took to make him feel this way and being understood was all she ever really wanted.

"That Angel… I'll protect it." He knew she didn't want to hear it, "No matter what you say I'll die before I let anything happen to it."

"Shinji…"

"I know we really didn't know each other long and we're not really lovers or anything like that but if that's all it takes to stop you from being hurt I'll do it no matter who I have to fight." He rolled on his side to tear his sight away from her pained expression, "You're my best friend Mayumi… I'm not going to let something like that happen to you."

She pulled off the gown and cast it aside.

Though it was up to her to tell him he was wrong she only had the strength to face the other accusation that he made. It was a misconception she wouldn't leave with him when he was dedicated to going this far for her.

"What do you think being lovers mean?"

He saw her naked only moments before, the fact that he kept his composure beforehand an amazing feat now that he turned back around, "Kissing and… stuff but I told you I was happy just-"

"To me it has nothing to do with that." She hated interrupting him but what she had to say was important, "Lovers aren't the only people that kiss and you don't have to be in love with someone to have sex Shinji. Lovers do those things but what really make them what they are is just being there for each other. That's why…"

"That's why?" He echoed, confused to why she stopped until she kissed him.

Mayumi didn't know how to kiss and neither did he so the end result was nothing more than her lips pressing against his until she removed them. It was his first kiss, a subtle sign of affection eclipsed by the reason she decided to give herself to him tonight.

She tried again, this time using her tongue and both of them shivered as she slid it into his mouth. It felt strangely warm, as if she was getting hotter just by finding out how he tasted and exchanging salvia with him.

The kiss was broken, ending almost as fast it started as she backed away, "That's why I love you…"

He was here even though she was sick, even though she was the reason he decided to do something so sad. He loved someone who wasn't capable of giving him what he deserved and her weakness only served to strengthen his resolve.

She hugged him, her thin arms lacing around his body as she pulled him close, "It kind of looks like a wolf doesn't it?"

He was quiet even though he knew what she was talking about. The Angel certainly looked canine but calling it a beast would be a far more accurate description. That only reason he could see the resemblance was the fact that it ran on four legs but those were just technicalities, "It does…"

"I see it in my dreams so I just thought it was my imagination but, sometimes, I just felt like it was more than just a dream. If I had known… I wouldn't have come here."

"I don't like it when you say things like that…"

"When it comes…" She took a deep breath and released it, "When it comes back, will you stay here with me?"

That question was one she knew was terribly selfish before she thought to ask him. He was prepared to fight his friends to protect her yet she was asking him to not only to abandon her but to watch her die at the same time.

"I can't…" He cried out, "I can't do that!"

He knew he couldn't defeat NERV by just wielding a progressive knife. There were so many things that could go wrong that he was afraid to think about it. As a matter of fact, it was already a losing fight but he at least wanted her to believe he could win.

"It's not that I don't have faith in you…" He was still just as easy to read as the books under her bed but the truth was never nice, "I just don't want to die alone."

He couldn't believe she said that.

"I'm not going to let you die!!"

His cell phone started to vibrate on the floor as if it was a challenge to his conviction and he was out of her arms before she knew it was ringing. He answered and hung up in the span of seconds, all he needed to know summed up in the only word he heard.

"Mayumi…"

He had to go…

She didn't say anything as she watched him walk away but he knew he had to say something. He had to say something because there was a chance that… No, he couldn't think like that so there was nothing he had to say because they would see each other again.

"When I come back, I'll tell you about my father and my mother…" He looked at the time on his cell phone display before shoving it in his pocket, "I'll cook you something to eat and we'll go places together."

"Shinji…"

"I'll start making your lunches and I'll introduce you to Misato and anyone else you-"

"Tell my father that you loved me… He'll be happy to know someone cared about me that much."

Though he knew she didn't intend to hurt him, he couldn't help feeling that way after she said something like that. Why couldn't she just believe him? Sighing, he stopped his rambling and headed for the door, "You'll be able to tell him yourself."

"I'm not going to try and stop you anymore but-"

"But what…?" His shoulders slumped, his demeanor changing as his confidence practically dissolved, "I'm just doing what I can. I… I don't care if you're angry at me Mayumi but why are you so against this? I swear I would do something else if I could but I just don't want you to die."

"So you would kill Rei for me?"

"W-What?"

Shinji was taken back for a moment but it was a question he considered long before this point. He wasn't stupid, he already accepted that he'd be fighting the other pilots but actually killing them never entered his mind. In a way, he thought around it somehow hoping that it never came to that but if it did…

"Shinji…"

Mayumi called his name and he looked up. She wasn't smiling even though he wanted her to so much and she obviously wasn't going to send him off with her blessings even though he needed the support so much he craved it.

Instead, her eyes were closed and her face was locked in concentration as she thought about what she wanted to say and arrived at a sad conclusion.

"I'm sorry."

"I'll…" He practically chocked on his words as he turned to open the door and started to leave, "I'll be back Mayumi…"

He didn't have any time to waste so he ran. He ran out of the door but the question she asked plagued him all the way down the steps. Though he was completely committed to protecting the Angel, he didn't want to hurt his friends much less kill them but if he had to…

He tried to shake the question of him as if to free himself from a delusion but he couldn't. Either he would or he wouldn't and he honestly didn't know. He didn't want his girlfriend to die but killing people to save her was…

Was what?

He didn't know. He was warping his own conscious with the questions he posed to himself but he had to make a decision before he got inside Unit 01. He couldn't be halfhearted about this so he made a choice and stuck with it as he returned to NERV.

0

The progressive knife broke on contact with the blade Rei borrowed from Asuka and she wasted no time taking advantage of his surprise. His crazed eyes locked onto the knife Unit 00 held. He made no attempt to dodge the oncoming attack but his counterattack would never be realized. Unit 01 was stabbed and shot simultaneously, he could feel the knife plunged into his chest and the round that ripped through his other knee grounded the purple bio-machine for good.

"No…" He yanked at the controls but there was no response. Whatever it was that taunted him whenever he synched with the Evangelion gave him the precious seconds he begged for and he failed to do anything with them.

Everything suddenly went off and he was submerged in darkness. There was a jolt and he guessed that it was either Rei or Asuka diving on top of his Evangelion but they didn't have to subdue him anymore.

It was over…

Shinji cradled his head in his hands as he realized that it was indeed Unit 02 balancing the rifle on top of Unit 01 as Asuka fired on the Angel. He could hear it. Every shot punctuated with something that sounded like a building crashing down next to him but he didn't care.

There was no telling what Rei was doing but he didn't want to know.

After what felt like an eternity, he realized he was being moved. The entry plug was being extracted but he found himself wishing he could drown in LCL rather than face the truth outside of his ignorance.

He could hear the sound of metal on metal, like gears clinking against each other as someone sought to open the plug manually and an influx of moonlight entered the moment the hatch slid up.

It was Rei.

She was the one that opened it and stepped inside. There was just enough light for him to make out the features of her face before she crawled into the darkness of the tube. She looked worried, the same way she looked after Misato slapped him for his foolishness earlier.

"Rei…" He closed his eyes and prayed for the first time in his entire life, "Did the… Did the Angel escape?"

Rei opted to keep the facts to herself as she closed the distance between them and embraced him. She expected him to push her away. She expected him to be furious considering what she did to both him and the Angel but he did neither of those things.

He cried, bowing his head as he accepted the obvious.

"It…" He sobbed and she held him tighter, "It isn't fair…"

The only person who understood rubbed his back as he wept like he never did before. He was exhausted and angry at none other than himself. He tried as hard as he could but the end result remained the same.

"I am sorry."

Her apology seemingly added to his plight as he buried his head in her chest and cried even harder. She would support him and make good on her promise to be with him in spite of all that happened. He clung to her as he sobbed but she never let go.

"R-Rei… That… last…"

Shinji shook, trembling as he tried to tell something but she quieted him by drawing him closer. There would be plenty of time for them to talk later but right now she had to decide what she would do when the retrieval team arrived with the major. Though she came to the conclusion that telling the truth would be in his best interest she also came to realize that she wouldn't have to worry about that until they arrived.

Right now…

"Shinji…"

It was just important that she was there for him.

-Fin

Author's note: Ah, it's nice to complete a story like this. I hope I got the meaning of the story across and I hope I didn't butcher Mayumi's character that bad. All in all, I know some scenes came out a bit weak and I changed a lot of details about her including the Angel and leaving out the fact that her mother committed suicide but I'm satisfied.

Other than that, I wish the QuickEdit or whatever the name of it is was more flexible when it came to doing what you want to do but that's just a minor gripe.

CF


End file.
